Question 1

What is collaborative divorce?

Accepted Answer

Collaborative divorce is a voluntary, out-of-court process where spouses work together with a team of specially trained professionals to resolve the legal, financial, and parenting issues involved in their divorce.  Rather than preparing for litigation, the collaborative team focuses on helping the parties reach mutually acceptable solutions that meet the needs of the entire family.

Question 2

How is collaborative divorce different from traditional divorce?

Accepted Answer

Traditional divorce is often adversarial and court-driven.  Collaborative divorce is settlement-focused and designed to reduce conflict, expense, and emotional stress.  Instead of preparing for trial, the professionals involved work together to help the parties reach agreements outside of court.

Question 3

What are the benefits of avoiding litigation?

Accepted Answer

Resolving a divorce outside of court can offer many advantages, including greater privacy, lower overall costs, faster resolution, and increased control over the outcome.  The collaborative process also encourages respectful communication and problem-solving, which can be especially beneficial when children are involved.

Question 4

How is collaborative divorce different from mediation?

Accepted Answer

In mediation, a neutral mediator facilitates negotiations, and each party may or may not have their own attorney.  In collaborative divorce, each spouse is represented by their own collaboratively trained attorney throughout the process.  The parties also have access to neutral professionals, such as financial specialists and facilitators, who assist the entire family in reaching informed and durable agreements.

Question 5

Can collaborative divorce be used if we don't get along?

Accepted Answer

Yes.  Many couples begin the collaborative process while experiencing significant conflict, hurt feelings, or communication difficulties.  The process is specifically designed to improve communication, reduce conflict, and help the parties work through disagreements in a respectful and productive manner.

Question 6

Can collaborative divorce be used if we have children?

Accepted Answer

Yes. Collaborative divorce emphasizes cooperation, healthy communication, and creating parenting arrangements that serve the children's best interests while preserving the parents' ability to work together in the future.

Question 7

How are children's issues handled in collaborative divorce?

Accepted Answer

Children's needs are a central focus in the collaborative process. The collaborative team helps parents develop a comprehensive parenting plan that addresses time-sharing, decision-making, communication, parental responsibilities, and other issues unique to their family. A neutral facilitator can help parents communicate more effectively and work through difficult parenting discussions, while a child specialist may be included to provide insight into the children's developmental and emotional needs. The goal is to create practical, durable solutions that promote the children's well-being and provide stability for the family after the divorce.

Question 8

Can collaborative divorce help preserve a co-parenting relationship?

Accepted Answer

Yes. Because the collaborative process focuses on respectful communication, problem-solving, and long-term solutions, it often helps parents establish a healthier foundation for co-parenting after the divorce is finalized.

Question 9

Can collaborative divorce reduce stress on children?

Accepted Answer

In many cases, yes. By minimizing parental conflict, avoiding contentious courtroom proceedings, and encouraging cooperative decision-making, collaborative divorce can help reduce the emotional stress that children experience during their parent’s divorce process.

Question 10

Will our children have to participate in the collaborative process?

Accepted Answer

Typically, no. Children generally do not participate in collaborative meetings or legal discussions. In limited circumstances, the parents may jointly decide that a child should meet with an agreed-upon neutral professional to address specific educational, developmental, or mental health concerns. If that occurs, the child interacts only with that professional and is not asked to participate in negotiations or legal decision-making.

Question 11

Is collaborative divorce less expensive than litigation?

Accepted Answer

Every case is unique, and costs vary depending on the complexity of the issues involved. However, collaborative divorce is often less expensive than litigation for several reasons:Collaborative cases are typically resolved more efficiently, reducing the time and legal fees associated with prolonged court proceedings.The process emphasizes cooperation rather than adversarial litigation, reducing unnecessary conflict and expense.The parties generally share the cost of neutral financial and other professional experts instead of retaining separate competing experts.Financial information is gathered cooperatively, resulting in a more streamlined and cost-effective discovery process.Duplication of attorney efforts are minimized because both attorneys are working from the same complete set of information.

Question 12

How long does collaborative divorce take?

Accepted Answer

The length of the collaborative process depends on the complexity of the issues and the parties' availability and willingness to participate.  Many collaborative cases are resolved within four to six months, although more complex matters may require additional time.

Question 13

Will I still have my own attorney?

Accepted Answer

Yes. Each party is represented by their own collaboratively trained attorney throughout the entire process. Your attorney advocates for your interests while working cooperatively with the other professionals to achieve a fair and durable resolution.

Question 14

Who may be part of the collaborative divorce team?

Accepted Answer

Every collaborative case includes an attorney for each spouse, as well as a team that may include a neutral financial professional and a neutral facilitator.   Depending on the family's needs, additional professionals, such as child specialists, business valuation experts, tax professionals, or other subject matter experts, may also participate.

Question 15

What happens if collaborative divorce does not work?

Accepted Answer

Most collaborative cases result in a full settlement. However, if the process ends without resolving all issues, the parties must choose a different process for resolving their remaining disputes and retain new attorneys to represent them in that process. Likewise, the neutral professionals who participated in the collaborative process do not continue into litigation.This requirement is a fundamental feature of collaborative divorce. Because no member of the collaborative team can continue into contested litigation, everyone involved remains focused on helping the parties reach a mutually acceptable resolution rather than preparing for trial. If the process does end, the collaborative team will assist in making a smooth transition to new legal counsel so the parties can move forward efficiently.

Question 16

Can I use the collaborative process if my case is already in court?

Accepted Answer

Yes. If both parties agree to pursue the collaborative process, an existing court case can be placed on hold while the parties attempt to resolve their dispute collaboratively.

Question 17

Can I select an attorney who is not collaboratively trained?

Accepted Answer

No. Collaborative divorce requires attorneys who have completed specialized collaborative law training and who are committed to the unique principles and procedures of the collaborative process.

Question 18

What is a facilitator?

Accepted Answer

A facilitator is a neutral mental health professional who assists both the parties and the collaborative team with communication, conflict management, and productive decision-making. The facilitator helps identify and address emotional or interpersonal issues that might otherwise interfere with reaching a successful resolution.

Question 19

Will the mental health professional evaluate my spouse?

Accepted Answer

No.  The mental health professional who is acting as a facilitator for the collaborative team will not provide therapy, psychological evaluations, diagnoses, or treatment for either spouse.  Their role is to facilitate effective communication and support the collaborative process, not to assess either party's mental health.

Question 20

Is collaborative divorce private?

Accepted Answer

Yes.  Unlike courtroom litigation, collaborative meetings occur in private offices rather than open courtrooms.  Although court filings are still required to legally finalize the divorce, much of the negotiation and problem-solving occurs in a confidential setting outside of court.

Question 21

Do we ever go to court?

Accepted Answer

In most collaborative cases, court involvement is minimal.  Typically, the court's role is limited to reviewing and approving the parties' settlement agreement and entering the final judgment dissolving the marriage.

Question 22

Do we still have to fully disclose our finances?

Accepted Answer

Yes.  Full, honest, and voluntary financial disclosure is a fundamental requirement of the collaborative process.  Both parties agree to exchange all relevant financial information so that informed decisions can be made.

Question 23

Is collaborative divorce appropriate in every case?

Accepted Answer

Not always.  Collaborative divorce requires both parties to participate voluntarily, negotiate in good faith, and provide complete and honest financial disclosure.  A consultation with a collaboratively trained attorney can help determine whether the process is appropriate for your family's circumstances.

Question 24

What if we already agree on most issues?

Accepted Answer

Collaborative divorce can still provide significant value. Even when the parties agree on many issues, the collaborative team can help finalize comprehensive legal documents, identify and resolve overlooked issues, evaluate financial options, and develop parenting plans that are practical and sustainable.

Question 25

How do we get started?

Accepted Answer

The first step is scheduling a consultation with a collaboratively trained attorney.  During that meeting, you will learn about the collaborative process, discuss your family's circumstances, and determine whether collaborative divorce is the right approach for your situation.

Question 26

What if my spouse isn't interested in collaborative divorce?

Accepted Answer

One spouse can begin by consulting with a collaboratively trained attorney to learn more about the process. If collaborative divorce appears to be a good fit, your attorney can help provide information to your spouse about the process. Because collaborative divorce is voluntary, both spouses must ultimately agree to participate. Many people who are initially skeptical become more receptive once they understand the benefits of resolving their divorce outside of court.

Question 27

How do I choose a collaborative attorney?

Accepted Answer

Choose an attorney who has completed specialized training in collaborative divorce and whose communication style and approach align with your goals. Because collaborative divorce emphasizes problem-solving rather than litigation, it is important to work with an attorney who is committed to helping you reach a fair, informed, and lasting resolution. Most people begin by scheduling a consultation with one or more collaboratively trained attorneys to determine who is the best fit.

Question 28

How are the other members of the collaborative team selected?

Accepted Answer

The collaborative attorneys work together to assemble a team of neutral professionals that best fits the family's needs. Every collaborative case includes one or more neutral professionals, and additional specialists may be included depending on the issues involved. The attorneys recommend experienced collaborative professionals who are trusted by both attorneys to serve as neutral members of the team. If either party has a conflict of interest or another legitimate concern regarding a proposed professional, a different neutral can be selected.

Question 29

Can collaborative divorce be used if there are substance abuse issues?

Accepted Answer

Sometimes. The answer depends on the nature and severity of the substance abuse and whether both parties are able to participate safely, honestly, and in good faith. In some cases, the collaborative team can address these concerns by incorporating appropriate safeguards and involving additional professionals when needed. A collaboratively trained attorney can help determine whether the process is appropriate for your circumstances.

Question 30

Can collaborative divorce be used if there has been domestic violence?

Accepted Answer

It depends on the circumstances. Collaborative divorce may be appropriate in some cases involving past domestic violence, but it is not suitable if either party cannot participate safely or voluntarily. The safety of everyone involved is the highest priority. A collaboratively trained attorney can help assess whether the collaborative process is appropriate and whether additional safeguards or accommodations are available.

Question 31

Can collaborative divorce be used if one spouse has mental health issues?

Accepted Answer

Yes, in many cases. Having a mental health condition does not automatically prevent someone from participating in the collaborative process. The important consideration is whether both parties are able to participate meaningfully, make informed decisions, and negotiate in good faith. Depending on the circumstances, the collaborative team may recommend involving additional professionals or implementing strategies to support the process.

Question 32

Do both spouses have to agree to use collaborative divorce?

Accepted Answer

Yes. Collaborative divorce is a voluntary process that requires both spouses to agree to participate. Either spouse may begin by consulting with a collaboratively trained attorney or other collaborative professional to learn more about the process, but both parties must ultimately commit to resolving their issues outside of court through the collaborative process.

Question 33

Can collaborative divorce be used if one or both spouses own a business?

Accepted Answer

Yes. Collaborative divorce is often well-suited for cases involving closely held businesses, professional practices, or other complex financial interests. A neutral financial professional or business valuation expert can help gather information, value the business if necessary, and evaluate settlement options.  This team approach often reduces disputes and allows the parties to make informed decisions while protecting the ongoing operation of the business.

Question 34

Can collaborative divorce work if one spouse has always handled the family's finances?

Accepted Answer

Yes. One of the core principles of collaborative divorce is full, transparent financial disclosure. A neutral financial professional helps gather, organize, and explain the family's financial information so that both parties understand their financial circumstances and can make informed decisions. The goal is to ensure that both spouses have equal access to the information needed to reach a fair resolution.

Question 35

Can collaborative divorce work if we disagree about parenting?

Accepted Answer

Yes. In fact, many parents begin the collaborative process with significant disagreements about parenting issues. The collaborative team helps parents improve communication, explore solutions, and develop a parenting plan that meets the unique needs of their family. When appropriate, a facilitator or child specialist can provide additional guidance to help parents focus on their children's best interests.

Question 36

Can collaborative divorce help us avoid a trial?

Accepted Answer

Yes. One of the primary goals of collaborative divorce is to resolve all issues through voluntary agreement rather than litigation. While no process can guarantee settlement, the vast majority of collaborative cases are resolved without the need for a trial. If the collaborative process is not successful, the parties transition to new attorneys before pursuing litigation or another dispute resolution process.

Question 37

What if my spouse is difficult or controlling?

Accepted Answer

Collaborative divorce can be effective even when the relationship has been difficult. The collaborative process includes structured meetings, professional guidance, and a team approach designed to improve communication and promote balanced participation. However, the process requires both parties to participate voluntarily and negotiate in good faith. A collaboratively trained attorney can help determine whether collaborative divorce is appropriate based on the specific circumstances of your case.

Question 38

Do I have to give up my legal rights by choosing collaborative divorce?

Accepted Answer

No. You continue to have your own attorney throughout the collaborative process, and your attorney advises you regarding your legal rights and responsibilities every step of the way. Choosing collaborative divorce simply means that both parties commit to resolving their issues outside of court whenever possible, rather than through litigation. The goal is to reach informed, durable agreements—not to require either party to compromise their legal interests.

Question 39

Why do I have to hire a new attorney if the collaborative process is unsuccessful?

Accepted Answer

This requirement is one of the defining features of collaborative divorce and is designed to support the success of the process. Because the collaborative attorneys and neutral professionals know they will not continue into litigation, they can focus exclusively on helping the parties reach a fair and durable settlement rather than preparing for trial.This shared commitment encourages open communication, creative problem-solving, and cooperation. It also eliminates the possibility that either attorney is using the collaborative process as a strategy or stepping stone to litigation.Although changing attorneys may seem unusual at first, most people find that the benefits of having a team fully committed to settlement far outweigh this possibility. In fact, the vast majority of collaborative cases are successfully resolved without the need for litigation.